James Bond's Brother (words & music by Chris Stanley)

Intro Riff (verse chords x5)

Verse 1

Chords: B – F#m – A – E (rpt)

I have a desk job without job security

Futility is my life

My boss leaves his office just to shout at me

And unaccountably I’m working the night

He says this spreadsheet of yours is no use to me

As I can’t sum the numbers in red

I tell him five plus five plus five plus five equals twenty

Then I staple the spreadsheet to his head

Chorus 1

Chords: B – F#m – B – F#m – A – E (rpt)

‘Cause I could be James Bond’s brother

Licensed to kill me an hour or three

Don’t know if you’ve heard

I like it shaken not stirred

Yes I could have the double O gene

Intro Riff (verse chords x1)

Verse 2

My boss doesn’t suffer fools gladly

And sadly it’s time for reviews

I ask him if I’ve performed badly

And he smiles when he tells me the news

He says I’m first…in line for demotion

Castration, degradation and death

So I hang him up high with my necktie

And listen while he takes his last breath

Chorus 2 & 3

‘Cause I could be James Bond’s brother

And travel the world with the spy who loved me

Who wants Roger Moore when there’s Pussy Galore?

And Ursula fresh from the sea

I could have disposable girlfriends

Hotties who would take a bullet for me

Moneypenny’s right

I’d shag anything in sight

And secretly I’d service the Queen

Intro Riff (verse chords x2)
Followed by James Bond theme x1

Verse 3

It’s meeting day for us in the office

And solace is in short supply

It’s time for me to hand in my notice

But the printer has predictably died

My boss rearranges the seating

When I greet him I mention the thrill

Of meeting him with a view to a kill

Chorus 4, 5 & 6

‘Cause I could be James Bond’s brother

Saving the world one villain at a time

But there should be a law against Shady and Jaws

And Nick Nack’s a nick name too far

It’s a question of parental expectation

Call your kid Oddjob and he’s going to turn to crime

And who’d want to tango with a young Scaramanga?

The poor kid was doomed from the start

Yes I could be James Bond’s brother

The world’s not enough and neither is my pay

But the meeting is on

And as long as I’m Bond
A

You can live to die another
A
You can live to die another
A                                          E
You can live to die another day

Instrumental - chorus chords